Emo-ness

2012-01-24T20:51:00.001+08:00

mmmmm.

feels like cooking my own steak next week.

;x

2012-01-24T19:33:00.003+08:00

i still remembered the first time you 'came' was that you waited at my corridor (because you're afraid of the banglas downstairs) while i went in to change and my father saw you when he exited the lift and you're hoping he's my neighbour and then he went into my house.

hahahahaha.

dumb dumb.

2012-01-24T01:15:00.003+08:00

okay.

enough spending money for the month.

next month, i shall get some new trucks (or maybe second hand ones).

and erm...

that's all i guess?

._.

now that ive gotten almost everything i want and need, shopping became kinda boring.

and it's so hard to find shoes and shirts that i like.

pfft.

ohyes.

i might need to get some ps3 games.

getting bored at home.

nooooooo.

learn longboard!

okay, im getting cranky.

nights.

2012-01-23T22:02:00.002+08:00

no matter how dumb dumb you are, i still cant bear to get angry with you for long.

toot.

:3

2012-01-21T07:03:00.002+08:00

this week has been getting from bad to worse.

hopefully things will pick up.

------

ive had plans to be nicer this week.

why do you have to make it so hard?

all those things you've said...

i find it so hard to just 'forget them'.

2012-01-21T00:12:00.000+08:00

i wanna go out and play.

2012-01-20T22:41:00.001+08:00

job well done.

indeed.

2012-01-19T22:19:00.002+08:00

u know what sucks?

realising you've been gymming at least 4 times a week for the last 3 months, and eating much lesser every meal, and then not gaining significantly enough muscle or losing enough fats.

that sucks.

alot.

what am i doing not right?

maybe it's time to really spam supplements.

2012-01-19T06:26:00.003+08:00

ive been broke far too long.

whats wrong with me trying to enjoy life for a while for now?

I know my limit.

it's not like im gonna to gamble it all away, or buying drugs or wasting it on hookers.

why do everyone wanna control me so much?

i deserve my freedom, my rights.

i earned it.

my money, my time, my nights out.

and fucking peter.

the camp would be a much better place without him.

let's all hope he got runover by a plane soon.

2012-01-15T09:37:00.000+08:00

it feels good to have money.

i wanna be a billionaire, so freaking bad.

2012-01-08T09:46:00.002+08:00

so tempted to get a psvita.

but then again, maybe not.

think about it.

it has camera.

which means no bringing into cam.

built in battery.

which most probably is sucky as well.

and there's limited game.

nahhh.

maybe i'll just wait a couple of months to see what's new.

things like this, price go down really fast.

and oh yes, a longboard.

to get, or not to get?

2011-12-30T23:40:00.001+08:00

thought about stuffs during my short run.

and i realized i have nearly drowned a couple of time.

fell off my bike at high speed and landed on my head.

almost got ran over by a bus but a good friend saved my ass and pulled me back.

almost got into a fight with a group of neighbourhood bengs back in the days.

got chased by a dog.

okay, it was a medium size dog, but i was in kindergarten at that time damn it.

got hit by killer litter.

to be honest, it was a plastic bag of water.

but yea, trying getting hit by that being throw off a building.

being slapped so hard your ear rang for a few minutes.

having your face rammed by a soccer ball and causing your nose to go out of place.

jumping off from high places in the name of fun.

and some other crappy situations i got into.

fuck.

lol.

but to me, those are nothing.

what im afraid of, the most, would be to speak to a large crowd, and losing control.

ohh how i hate myself sometimes.

2011-12-30T18:46:00.002+08:00

sometimes i feels so scared and alone and dont know what to do without you by my side. :(

2011-12-30T17:36:00.000+08:00

now i truly understand how dangerous the outside world is.

tons of different people out there.

i was that close to punching someone today.

all my life, ive been trying to control myself.

but some people out there is just gonna ruin everything.

ruin your life.

and you will lose control.

like how i lost control.

and put a hole in my bunk's door.

crap.

------

to survive in a world full of strong ones, you must be the strongest.

2011-12-18T10:21:00.001+08:00

Juggernaut Fight Club.

lol.

this seems pretty decent.

meh.

next month. :|

and i almost punched somebody in camp.

almost.

i almost lose it.

for no reason.

fuck.

2011-12-11T00:43:00.001+08:00

hell yea.

payday's here.

cant fucking wait for next one though.

regular pay!

plus all the mother fucking back-payments and year end bonus!

holy shit.

im gonna spend away my bonus the moment i get it.

so many fucking things to buyyyyyyy.

let's see.

a fred perry bag.

a fossil wallet. (or some other one, i cant decide.)

new vans!

holy shit this is exciting.

ermmm, new glasses?

mine's new, but already got a crack.

from dropping too much.

-_-

dont think it'll last long.

oh yes, ear piece!

guess i'll stick with sonicgear?

though a-jays seems pretty good.

and a new phone is tempting...

still deciding though.

alrighty.

this shall be my list at the moment.

ciao.

arghhh.

there's still stuffs like psp, ipod, laptop, and xmini.

though i dont really need them right now.

and ahhhh yes, boxing lesson.

meow.

2011-12-07T22:57:00.001+08:00

fate, destiny, or perhaps even luck.

lol.

none of that exist.

for those of you who believed in a pre-determined future, sorry to burst your bubbles.

we control our own future.

whether we chose to fuck it up, or we chose to do something about it, the outcome is up to us.

so yea, do something about it, instead of whining every single time the same things happen again.

peace out.

2011-12-04T11:24:00.001+08:00

you know what?because im a monster.

2011-12-03T18:04:00.002+08:00

i've listened to this songs a couple of times.

nothing special.

but when i hear it again just now, i listened to the lyrics.

every words.

it brings me back.

down many memory lanes.

:'(

2011-12-03T17:58:00.002+08:00

fucking hate to be broke.

i want to be rich.

or slightly richer.

heck, i just want to be better off than now.

no, i change my mind again, i want to be fucking rich.

i feels fucking pathetic right now.

no, i feels fucking pathetic for the last 20 years of my life.

i cant even go out and enjoy myself right now.

i want to hang out in clubs.

i want to travel as and when i like.

i want to live in big houses.

i want to drive fast cars.

i want to lead a life you see rich people in movies lead.

i want to get things normal people cant get.

i want to do things normal people cant do.

i want to be... a me that is not me.

i want to celebrate life every single day.

not whine about it.

but what's there to celebrate?

fucking hell.

no words cant explain how fucking angry i am with everything at the point of time.

angry towards myself.

what the fuck is my purpose in life?

fuck this.

let's just say if im the incredible hulk, i would punch a fucking hole in my wall, jump into the middle of a busy road, toss some mother fucking cars across the country, and then proceed to destroy every single things i see.

yes, this is what i am feeling right now.

cant imagine?

alright, let's say, a scenerio.

imagine yourself giving all your money to a random stranger, and tell him if you can find him he shall return you the money.

and you carry on with your normal daily life, going to work, going back home etc.

and then you only have $10, and you have to find alternate means to get money, because you need to survive 2 weeks with that.

and you have to go hungry everyday, because you know if you spend that money, poof, your last hope gone.

and you have to top up your ezlink card as well.

and you are fucking frustrated now, and what's worse, you cant find the fucking guy who had your money and is willing to give back if you can find him, but you cant.

money, money, money.

everything is about money.

necessities, meals, transports, entertainment.

every single one of those is a mind fucking problem.

that fucks with your head every single seconds.

can you imagine, the anger and frustration?

i doubt so.

so fuck off.

2011-11-26T17:43:00.002+08:00

okay.

since im free, let's do a little mathematics.

on why i sign on.

-_-

gosh i should have done that before i signed on.

ohwell.

let's see...

if i never sign on, most probably i'll get into sispec, and from there i'll most probably chiong sua for the 2 years and ord with nothing.

no cert, no knowledge, and most probably not much savings.

maybe i'll have an allowance of $700 per months, and with about 20 more months to go, that makes $14k.

if i dont spend.

mehh.

and then i have to go uni if i want to survive outside, and that means money no in only out.

2 years ns + 3 years uni, i'll be around 26.

with no savings.

and maybe i'll find a job outside, maybe in the media industry as a graphic designer or dtp.

pay would be around $2.5k-$3k i guess?

not bad, but let's look what's gonna happen now that i have signed on.

$2.1k for the next 4 years or so, and a lump sum of $20k.

that makes like more than $80k after cpf, just the salary alone without the lump sum.

not bad.

and 4 years later means i'll be around 25, with a bit of savings.

then i can go uni, come out get a job with that savings as back up.

or i can just skip uni and find a job.

or i can start up a business if i have an opportunity.

and not to forget, there's always a possibility that the air force will sponser me to further studies.

or i can always go for part time degree.

hmm...

so many routes.

ohwell.

fuck it.

i need money now.

2011-11-24T00:15:00.001+08:00

okay, and i fail ippt.

-.-

and ive been waiting so long for season 4 of leverage to come out, and then i checked wiki and it says it has already been out for quite some time.

walao.

2011-11-23T20:37:00.003+08:00

holyshit i wanna go this next next year!

fuckinggggggggg sickkkkkkk!

;O

officially looking for people who appreciates dance party to go with me.

xD

and damn, so many places to go, with so many people.

thailand or taiwan with joel.

most probably korea (hope not) or hong kong with the ninjas.

and everywhere else with omooooooooooo.

;O

and i wanna go europe or the states!

;D

quite sick of asian countries already.

arghh.

especially korea, since singapore is somewhat like a 'mini korea' already.

-.-

2011-11-20T15:06:00.001+08:00

all or nothing.

missing the old times.

2011-11-20T14:14:00.001+08:00

i dont like it.

2011-11-20T11:41:00.000+08:00

perhaps i need to start working on my portfolio soon.

2011-11-20T11:05:00.001+08:00

20 days left.

come on, regular pay.

zzz.

fucking unfairrrrrrrr.

------

looks like i just got owned by life again.

2011-11-18T22:48:00.001+08:00

okay.

another week pass by.

lol.

been gymming everyday.

kinda fun.

xD

and i swear Beth Riesgraf is damn cuteeeeeee.

;o

2011-11-14T22:15:00.002+08:00

just feeling so...

unmotivated to do anything or go anywhere right now for the time being.

being poor.

just sucks.

------

just like lifting weights, if you grab the bar too tight, it'll hurt your hand, and your fingers and thumbs are most probably gonna cramp.

happens.

lol.

sucks that gymming session gotta cut short.

beginners' mistakes.

gonna have just the right amount of hold.

tight, but not so tight.

2011-11-14T19:54:00.001+08:00

damn.

unfair sio.

only 5 aosx got promoted to regular at the moment.

not me though.

whyyyyy?

:(

------

i wanna get bigger, better, stronger, and faster.

2011-11-13T16:39:00.000+08:00

no matter how fucking messy my room is, i always know the location of every single fucking things of mine.

so please fuck off.

it pisses me off just being in this place.

fuck this shit.

today just sucks.

i really, really hate this kind of sucky day where nothing is going smoothly.

the traffic lights...

the fucking long waiting time for bus...

and even the fucking weather.

and hell, i even saw someone i dont want to.

zzz.

if ive left earlier, i would have avoided half those nonsenses.

fuck.

2011-11-13T00:02:00.003+08:00

damn i want my regular pay.

and then mma lesson.

perhaps fightg?

evolve abit bo hua.

:|

or maybe i'll just self learn boxing at home.

2011-11-12T22:14:00.002+08:00

damn.

was 'forced' to go to a stupid 5km marathon today.

-.-

ohwell.

there's always a first time for everything.

and though i intended to walk the full run, i just... cant stop running.

the feeling you get when you run passed alot of people.

it feels kinda good.

the max ive done previously was 2.4km.

today, i doubled that.

holymoly.

28min.

or around there.

i can be faster.

;D

2011-11-08T22:50:00.002+08:00

oh mannnnn.

i need a new phone.

probably a xperia arc s.

or a htc sensation xe.

nahhh.

probably pass on the big power house samsung and apple.

why?

i dont like overrated stuffs.

even if it's good, i just hate that it's over rated.

lol.

i like htc.

:<

but the arc s looks so chio.

arghhh.

tough, tough choice.

and i need to get a new specs.

current one is...

black taped.

._.

meow.

and i wanna get new vans.

and a x mini.

okay.

maybe that can wait.

okay that's probably all that i gonna get.

and a few longboarding stuffs here and there.

i want my regular pay.

:<

2011-11-07T15:36:00.003+08:00

leverage damn nice sio.

finish watching season one in two days.

;O

can't wait for season two and three to finish downloading.

i like shows where it allows me to think along and still get mindfucked every now and then.

xD

i mean, shows like supernatural, ghost whisperer and smallville are nice, but it just don't have the charm like some series.

then again, kinda sad to see some good small production shows being cut too early because of low viewerships or whatsoever.

mehhh.

come on people, a good show may not necessarily need the biggest actors, or the greatest sets, or even flashy effects (though i must say most of the time they do), it just need a good plot, and good actings.

meow.

2011-11-06T12:00:00.002+08:00

family day.

hah.

20 years late.

2011-11-06T10:54:00.000+08:00

i miss the good times, the fun times, and the funny times.

2011-11-06T01:11:00.002+08:00

i miss smiles.

all the smiles in the world.

of everybody i know.

the "genuine, 'i am happy', innocent" smiles.

not the "fuck it, you want a smile? here's a smile" kind of smile.

that's why i like little kids.

dont you think their smile can just brighten up somebody's world?

lol.

there's no secret behind it.

no tears behind it.

no bullshits behind it.

mehhh.

real grown ups dont smile.

do they?

2011-11-05T22:37:00.003+08:00

i hate people with monotone mindset.

or whatever it's called.

old people mindset.

and nope, dont be mistaken.

some old people are awesome.

just the few, last generation oldies.

fixed, dead, unchangeable thinkings.

they can't seems to see things from another point of view.

nope, only one view.

it's like playing a racing game, you can only see from inside the car, no alternate nor third person view.

how sucky.

you'll never find out how fun or how much easier the race gonna be if you can see more than just the steering wheel and the road ahead.

mehh.

talking about cars, why cars?

what's wrong with learning bike?

dangerous?

sure.

i know that.

but what thing in life isnt?

people says if you ride a bike, you might get hit by a car and die.

then again, i can say the same.

if you drive a car, you might hit someone and kill him.

so would you rather get hit and die, or live knowing that you killed someone.

i think the latter would be more miserable.

oh yes, maybe if you die your loved ones will feels miserable.

but then again, can you live knowing that you caused somebody's loved ones to feel miserable for the rest of their lives?

i cant.

that shit is way too much for me to handle.

i'd rather take the chance and if im lucky, sustain some heavy injuries where i'd be hospitalised and then i'd quit bike.

lol.

people should see things from a bigger view.

just because the majority is driving doesnt mean i have to.

fuck norms.

what's wrong with tattoos?

what's wrong with outlandish piercings?

what's wrong with funky hair colors?

fuck you all very much.

i like what i do.

this is why this society is so fucked up.

no, it's not because it's viewed as a whole, it's because of the individuals that fucked things up.

and sure, if im living in germany or switzerland, i will definitely get a car.

but no.

this is singapore.

everything cost almost and arm and a leg.

and not to mention the too much cars not enough roads nonsense.

wtheck.

dangerous?

when i say i wanna be a pilot, in my mind, me myself am thinking what the fuck this is dangerous.

that's why i opted out when given a second chance to try for it.

but again, no one stopped me.

why?

more prospect?

better future?

ride a bike?

nope, never once did i view it as dangerous.

so fuck you all.

get your ideas right.

flying a mother fucking plane is way more dangerous that riding a mother fucking bike.

reflect.

and who actually supported me?

quek?

krystal?

and probably fangying?

bunch of, mere friends.

but off all people.

you.

my parents.

and my best friends.

why?

okay, maybe i dont really care much about my best friends comments.

because we're just a bunch of messed up guys getting together.

and my parents?

sure, they've never really supported me much.

when i join archery, they didnt think much of it.

when i was practising some lame magic tricks, they compared me to magicians they see on the tv.

when i wanna learn guitar, they looked down on me, and actually said it right in my face.

it hurts fucking much, but ive learnt to deal with it.

but you?

i dont know how to put it.

i dont know if i should be more sad or more disappointed.

sometimes i feel, maybe i should have say so much to anyone.

you dont know maybe one day a knife would come one round and stab you in the back.

if i hadnt told anyone, maybe i could have went off to learn it secretly.

and come back with a licence.

since they didnt say no.

now, after so much bullshits and persuasion from them, how could i... defy orders?

after all, im still living under their roof.

i dont know.

maybe disappointment is a way of life.

me to you.

you to me.

them to us.

us to them.

2011-11-05T15:12:00.006+08:00

sometimes i wonder if anyone's reading my blog.

lol.

the last few known people to have read my blog i guess would only be a handful.

mehh.

whatever.

------

i like time alone with my ipod, because it allows me to recharge.

i like time alone without my ipod, because i can reflect on things and changes around me.

seeing how people rushing everywhere, trying to make ends meet, one thing i have learnt, is that what's life when you dont and you cant have fun?

are you just gonna grow old one day, thinking that, "oh shit, ive wasted my life. my life's all about study, work, work, and work."

then what's the point?

damn it.

i aint gonna be that person.

i would rather live a short exciting life than a long dull meaningless one.

imagine on your tombstones it says something along the line of "age 32. died when parachute failed to open up", instead of "age 64. died peacefully in his sleep".

lol.

which would you have preferred?

and seeing how society is becoming more and more unhealthy as time goes by, i doubt many people would even make it to that age and still be healthy and running and kicking around.

most would get, say high blood pressure?

diabetes?

osteoporosis?

or whatever cranky illness old people get.

you'd be lying on your bed, complaining, whining, and maybe even suffering and wishing life would end.

wow.

doesnt that brings you back to your teen-hood?

lol.

but you cant kill yourself, not because you cant, is that you wont because you've walked so far in life and that if you wanna die you should have done so earlier and you dont want to waste those effort living.

okay, i have no idea what im talking about, but yea.

so you'd be lying right there, wishing you could die but you dont wanna die, and you'd be wasting the rest of your life away and waiting for death.

mehhh.

so what you wanna have engraved on your headstone?

if life is so simple, merely just working and leaving and making ends meet, why would societies want to advance?

wouldnt the stone age be enough?

they are one of our first ancestors, and they have the toughest time, but they still did it dont they?

that's because, a simple life is never enough.

people are greedy.

they want more.

they dont wanna live life just by living.

whatever.

all these thanks to a guy in business wear sweating like fuck.

on a saturday.

lol.

2011-11-05T10:36:00.005+08:00

ccb.

sometimes i wish im the only child so no one would leech my fucking internet.

or that i can have the whole room to myself.

or that i would be more loved.

whatever.

life sucks, that's it.

on the other hand.

2012 kawasaki ninja model looks fucking chio.

i like this.

but it's a 1000cc bike.

damn.

guess i'll just settle for this first.

hopefully in the near future.

meow.

2011-11-04T21:10:00.001+08:00

toot toot is sick.

:<

2011-11-02T22:46:00.002+08:00

here i am, sitting in front of the computer, planning to do another blog post.

yet i have no topics in mind currently beside the usual life sucks/ im broke kind of craps.

lol.

so imma just go bathe and have an early night.

because tomorrow imma go gym and pump some iron and i got picked to run a 5km airforce run or some shit next week when i can barely do 2.4km.

zzz.

gonna walk.

what gives.

lol.

2011-11-02T06:07:00.002+08:00

misfits.

walking dead.

big bang theory.

how i met your mother.

and probably going into terra nova.

so many shows to watch...

so little time.

probably it's time to get an ipod touch(again).

maybe next month.

hohoho.

and hell yeah.

gyming at aftc.

sibei shiok.

2011-11-02T05:59:00.001+08:00

this... job thingy made me feels like im in secondary school.

wake up so fucking early.

go home so late.

arghhhh.

2011-11-01T23:29:00.003+08:00

forever stomp sia

now adelyn trending worldwide on twitter.

LOL.

not that i care, though i dont see why should anyone either.

i mean... come on.

google 'teen slaps mum' see how many hits you'll get.

okay, maybe a few here and there from all over the world.

and many others 'unknown' or 'unreported' cases.

people slap their mums, their dads, their dogs, their girlfriends, their boyfriends, all the time.

i mean, shits do happen, and it's not our fucking business.

like the maid carrying the field pack incident.

that bullshit went worldwide.

just like this.

like wtf.

stomp.

-.-

tarnish our fucking reputation just because some mother fucker poke their noses in places where it shouldnt belong.

pfft.

singapore.

smart ah.

yea sure, continue letting that website run.

and see where you gonna get your money if foreigners one day stop investing money in you because of something that fucked up really badly.

ohwait.

~~taxes.~~

and to those dear stompers, come on lah, create so much troubles and tarnish our already horrible reputations and you only get 50 bucks.

for what fuck.

fucking cheapo.

the world's got bigger problems to deal with.

fucking pissed with the kaypos.

and to the girl?

i dont give a shit.

that's her family own fucking problem to deal with.

though some people really deserves to get slapped.

i wont say her mum deserves it, but yea, shits happens.

dont deny that you hadnt felt like giving a fucked up teacher, or a sibei guailan senior a bitchslap because that person so deserved it.

mehhh.

why am i even ranting?

like what aidil said, haters gonna hate.

and just put yourselves in her shoe.

let's just say you made one mistake.

and because of that, what gives everyone the right to judge, or comment?

are we all perfect?

have we not done some stupid things in the past which we have regretted deeply?

imagine, you did one stupid thing and the whole fucking world start talking about you, and they move past the slapping incident and into your personal life, how you dress and how you talk.

like, what the fuck.

cyber bullying.

yea, keep on pointing those fingers, people.

and quoted from steven lim (though i dont really like that guy): "Sometimes people never think both ways. If the kid can slap the mum, something must b wrong with the parent way of teaching le.."

just think about it.

2011-11-01T22:42:00.001+08:00

ma'am kalal is super nice i swear.

2011-10-30T23:09:00.006+08:00

how nostalgia.

working part time again.

the work.

the rush.

the people.

and the using of phone secretly to message the one i love.

everything is coming back now.

lol.

everything flashes back the moment i took out the phone.

it felt like... i was 2 years back.

everything felt so familiar.

i miss working part time.

if i could, i would wanna work odd jobs for the rest of my life.

but sadly, i cant.

because the society says so.

------

im glad the past is the past.

because i love you now.

;x

♥ ♥ ♥

nahnahnah.

so cheesy.

pfft.

cb.

lol.

bye.

2011-10-30T10:51:00.000+08:00

let's just all smile our way through.

2011-10-29T21:47:00.003+08:00

lol.

i think ive so much to complain.

but this society is just too wired and fucked up.

dont you agree?

------

every little notes...

:(

2011-10-29T21:34:00.003+08:00

i got so many things to say.

but how do you want me to say those things.

how can i?

i wanna be stronger.

i wanna protect the ones i love.

i wanna be richer.

i wanna lead a comfortable life.

i dont wanna be a good-for-nothing.

no skills, no money, no house, no car, nothing.

sometimes, i hate myself for being me, for leading the life i lead.

why do some people get all the good stuffs?

and some?

suffering with the mundane routineness crap loads of shits day after day.

truth is, many would say they wanna lead a simple life, or that a simple life is more than enough.

but the real truth is, who the fuck dont wanna lead a fucking awesome life?

stop lying to yourselves, people.

you know you are.

define simple life.

8-5 job?

hanging out for awhile after work with friends and colleagues?

going home to your happy little family every night?

club once in a while to de-stress?

spend time with love ones in the weekends?

taking leaves about 2 weeks per year for holidays?

that's a simple life for you?

pfft.

imagine doing that for the next 30 to 50 years of your life.

pure what the fuck.

tell me, dear readers, is that -really- what you want?

a "simple life"?

2011-10-28T23:35:00.003+08:00

just.

why.

the.

fuck.

is.

nothing.

going.

fucking.

smoothly.

AT ALL.

mother fuck.

im hating life more and more.

JUST NOTHING.

FUCKING NOTHING.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

have you ever felt so fucking frustrated about something that you just want to find something to beat the shit out of?

ahh yes.

multiply that by ten fucking times.

fuck this shit.

2011-10-28T22:39:00.001+08:00

somehow, i feels like this little boat is drifting further.

2011-10-26T11:08:00.003+08:00

i think about what i wanna do in the future and...

i have no idea.

i mean, how the fuck do anyone survive in this country?

perhaps i'll just stay in the force for the rest of my life.

stable job, stable pay, incentives, blah blah blah.

what better things can i do?

how depressing.

sometimes i wish i was richer.

"There are currently 183,000 millionaires in Singapore, the second richest country in the Asia Pacific region with an average wealth of 285,000 U.S. dollars."

pfft.

what are the chances.

lol.

2011-10-24T22:59:00.000+08:00

and so project bounty hunter pretty much didnt go as planned.

but mehhh.

im still getting my money back.

------

damn im tired of people not getting the differences between instax and polaroid.

damn you fujifilm.

not a bad camera you've got there, but still, damn you.

------

and my blog's fucking wordy.

i need more pictures.

2011-10-24T05:54:00.002+08:00

all of a sudden, i feels like everyday is pretty much the same.

is this what life is all about?

routines, routines and routines.

what the fuck.

------

and yeap.

getting regular's pay after medical.

which is like in 3-4 months time.

cheeeb**.

2011-10-22T17:53:00.001+08:00

19 more days.

cheebye.

2011-10-22T10:46:00.001+08:00

i wanna learn a fucking bike.

sad to see other people having or getting licence when im still in the same shitty situation.

fml.

x99.

2011-10-21T23:50:00.001+08:00

saikang ftw.

please please please let next pay be regular's pay.

dont give me shitty private pay damn it.

2011-10-18T22:09:00.001+08:00

in train on the way home.

thinking of random stuffs.

and my thought brought me back 5 months, when im was still thinking "fuck lah, army."

fast forward to now, i was like, "wow".

i know it's kinda slow, but i still cant believe how fast and how long it's been.

ive POP-ed.

;O

2011-10-17T22:06:00.003+08:00

and so rsaf requires me to fill up some stupidly long personal particular form.

and in one section there's a part which ask for the date which i first started poly.

hmm...

and so i figure the best place to look for it is here.

dang i was right.

07042008.

lol.

and i read through some of my old posts.

in fact, i read through my whole year 1's posts.

memories.

i miss you guys.

and i miss hanging out till late night everyday.

:[

but it seems like everyone's all grown up and busy with the little thing call life now.

including me.

:|

take care my homies.

viva la vida.

and an epic-ly old photo to end my random post.

lol.

2011-10-17T20:12:00.001+08:00

was it a bad move?

maybe i shouldnt have signed it.

lol.

the marching, the diam-ing, the keluar baris.

so army-ish.

today's orientation, and all the while in my mind, i was thinking "fuck, what have i done?"

lol.

how funny.

"fuck, what have i done?"

ive said it so many times.

but i still pulled through in the end.

but this?

4 more years.

lol.

fml.

nevermind.

the money shall keeps me going.

but i know im going to hate it there.

lol.

and number 4 looks so much nicer than number 3 i swear.

mehhh.

fuck this shit.

ciao.

2011-10-16T18:11:00.000+08:00

life's pretty meaningless at the moment.

so pissed with everything today.

nothing is going smooth.

shops closed.

machine spoil.

missed the bus.

traffic light fucking with me.

weather's a bitch.

and my net's lagging.

what gives.

lol.

and they says good luck comes after bad.

my ass.

good thing i only down 5 bucks on soccer.

come on, 4D.

make that 1 buck counts.

and why must adults always make it sounds like it's my business?

i dont give shits.

honestly.

mehh.

good thing ns life is back again.

at least it'll get my mind off stuffs for awhile.

damn it.

25 days more.

------

what do you do when the ups and downs in your life are caused by the same person?

2011-10-14T02:48:00.002+08:00

years it has been.

after so long, nope.

nothing's changed.

ohwell.

longboarding keeps my mind free.

anybody wanna join me?

anyway, posting result's out in 7 hours?

come on, rsaf, i wanna be in you.

okay, not really.

im just in for the money.

and to gtfo of army.

and i need to sleep.

wish me luck.

ciao.

------

and so a friend asked, "what makes a good relationship?"

whatever that makes the relationship good, i guess.

2011-10-12T12:58:00.001+08:00

u know... sometimes i really dont like it.

2011-10-02T17:51:00.000+08:00

im a disappointment.

2011-10-01T00:02:00.000+08:00

sup niggas.

im back.

time flies eh?

been ages since i last blogged.

1 month.

wow.

and 4 months went pass just like that.

how fast.

i can still rmb the first time i did 3km route march in tshirt and number 4 pants without field pack and rifle.

i was almost dying at the end.

now, im conquering 16km with long 4 and everything on like it was nothing.

lol.

i told myself i wont survive outfield.

but i did.

twice.

4 months, not so long, not so short.

though i cant wait to get out of tekong, but damn, after 3 years in rp, i still hate goodbyes.

all the shits and fun time everyone went through.

ninja 03/11.

awesome company.

i'll miss everyone. :/

and i dont think im eligible for ocs.

:(

just hope im good enough for sispec, not that i want to go in though.

i just wanna know if im good enough.

anyway, himym and bbt is out.

and it's already on episode 3.

damn im slow.

pfft.

and longboarding's fun.

gotta save up and get new setup.

and hopefully air force calls me tmr morning and tell me im shortlisted.

i dont wanna waste 2 years of my life serving army.

and i still hate outfield.

mehhh.

havent met up with my friends for a really long time.

hopefully i'll have more time when i get posted out or something.

hmm.

goodnight, world.

sleep tight.

2011-08-30T11:19:00.003+08:00

thank you dear for taking care of me when im sick.

:]

5 days field camp.

i shall jiayou!

------

because we are awesome, together. (:

2011-08-29T23:22:00.000+08:00

everything kena anime-fied.

first it was ironman.

then wolverine.

now even supernatural.

-.-

im pretty sure i missed out a couple.

2011-08-27T11:09:00.001+08:00

music for my souls.

what i need every bookout, is just some awesome music to recharge me.

2011-08-27T09:48:00.002+08:00

lol.

all of a sudden, i miss my 3 years working at ntuc.

all the shits i did, all the secrets i know.

all the fun i had, and all the scoldings i get.

haha.

epic.

2011-08-21T06:56:00.000+08:00

army kills me mentally.

but i always stand up.

blood, sweat, tears.

i like kestrel catchphrase.

lol.

2011-08-14T13:03:00.001+08:00

some camp update.

live range tmr.

real gun real ammo.

cant wait.

and field camp's at the start of next month.

somewhat excited, but the only thing im worrying about is the shitting part.

;x

and my buddy actually noticed that i cry after every run.

and i thought nobody knew because all the shit are mixed up with the sweats.

lol.

yes, every single run.

because i pushes myself too damn far.

and i still dont get the result i want.

disappointed.

2011-08-14T08:53:00.001+08:00

i want things to be better than this.

:(

2011-08-06T23:58:00.002+08:00

how's life, peeps?

im still surviving, dont worry.

and i realized how awesome some people really are.

there was once we had a long morning, and we're having a very late lunch, and i was very hungry, and one of my platoon mate just turned around and gave me one of his drumlets because i looked fucking hungry.

lol.

small actions like this gain my respect.

we're all hungry, but he put others before him.

i just dont know what to say.

anyway, payday's soon.

time to start saving up.

and bmt's starting soon.

cant wait.

and so many people are enlisting soon or already enlisted.

have fun there.

ciao.

------

last roll of film made me re-think what i want to do.

some shots were really... random.

guess i need to re-compose and re-think through every shots.

and slides dont come cheap.

mehhh. :|

------

ilovemybabygirl._.

2011-07-30T07:42:00.001+08:00

sometimes you just gotta take a leap of faith.

no fighting from now on.

:[

2011-07-29T23:39:00.001+08:00

coughing for more than a month now.

been vomiting the last few nights.

cant fucking sleep.

damn.

maybe it's really a sign to go see a doctor.

2011-07-29T22:47:00.002+08:00

i really, really wanna ride a bike.

i dont know why, maybe it's because it's on my mind my whole life?

and i could have spent half my weekends going for lessons.

no point crying over spilled milk.

sleep.

2011-07-22T23:11:00.002+08:00

sometimes i ask myself, "what's life gonna be like 5 years down the road?"

and you know what?

ive got no answer.

2011-07-17T08:43:00.003+08:00

life is short.

one of my tekong friends was my childhood friend.

on the last book in, he told me his mum has passed away few months back.

damn.

although im not really close to her, but i rmb her to be a nice lady.

rest in peace, auntie.

------

and army is...

i dont know.

even the strongest breaks down.

ive seen a few.

maybe they cant take the trainings, maybe they misses home, i dont know.

but for me, i broke down after every run.

why?

because im disappointed in myself.

i could have done better.

i should have.

but because of this stupid cough.

i couldnt.

i should have jumped further.

i should have pulled harder.

i could have booked out earlier.

but i didnt.

disappointment.

mehhh.

cant wait for the 2 years to be over.

and im still thinking whether to aim for command school.

:|

------

i hate planning, but it's about time i start planning for the future.

2011-07-10T07:50:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wonder, what was the conversations like when im not around?

whenever people ask me that question, i would be like 'damn'.

i should have, would have, could have been doing that every weekend, every bookout.

but im not.

:|

i really should stop brooding over it.

but really, what's life if you cant do things you like?

and ns is really tiring.

i dont mind the training actually, it's just that i aint getting enough sleep.

mehhh.

------

and i miss those messages. :/

2011-07-04T13:27:00.002+08:00

haiz.

they're still going on about the bike thing.

how can i tell anyone that i'll get road rage and i'll be in more danger and be of more danger if im behind a steering wheel instead?

damn fucked up.

2011-07-03T23:30:00.001+08:00

in the face of danger, i'll most probably stone.

i need to change that.

my reaction time sucks pretty much.

and in order to correct that, i think i'll need to face more danger.

damn.

-_-

------

'talking' and 'doing' privacy is two different things.

so is not knowing and not telling.

mehh.

back to bed.

2011-07-03T01:18:00.002+08:00

it would seems like ive gotten -slightly- fitter ever since i entered ns.

but then again, screw the fucking cough.

-_-

i wanna do parkour again.

:(

what's wrong with getting hurt if you get hurt doing what you like?

2011-07-02T11:28:00.001+08:00

sometimes, i just wanna run away.

2011-07-01T23:09:00.002+08:00

sometimes i do feel im not being caring enough.

2011-06-26T00:42:00.002+08:00

3 years in ntuc passes by just like that.

im sure 2 years of ns would be a breeze.

mehh.

like what ive used to say, if you can survive in ntuc, you can survive anywhere.

LOL.

;x

2011-06-25T23:31:00.001+08:00

oh man.

weekend pass by so quickly.

and i'll be in tekong this timing tomorrow.

meh.

left toe right toe keep up the tempo~

left toe right toe ae-oh-ae-oh-ah~

here we go again~

same old shit again~

2011-06-25T08:01:00.003+08:00

tekong was... alright i guess.

confidential.

shallnt disclose much.

just that it's fucking tiring.

and my platoon mates are awesome people.

NINJA!

and fuck, so many cheap and awesome travel deals right now.

pubor.

and i miss omo alot.

:<

2011-06-10T05:27:00.001+08:00

sayonara, world.

2011-06-10T00:05:00.001+08:00

ohyes, a friend's tweet reminded me what i wanna tweet a few days back.

what's the purpose of life?

are we destined to come into this world, to work our asses off and then die?

or are we destined for something greater?

2011-06-09T23:50:00.002+08:00

i wanna learn bike not because i need a transport.

i love taking bus.

and im alright with taking train.

i just love speed.

and i fucking hate jams.

------

*edit

fuck this shit.

im still going ahead.

and hopefully people will respect me a little more and not make me the topic of discussion.

the more you say no, the more i want to learn, and the faster i shall go.

i dont care if i die, im prepared for that shit if that's what people want me to do if they keep cursing and saying it's dangerous.

2011-06-09T22:10:00.003+08:00

this is why i dont trust anyone.

this is why i hate planning ahead.

this is why i hate having dreams.

that could jolly well be my 'longest-lasting' wish, and also a passion.

and a love for speed.

my heart feels shattered.

maybe it's because i really wish for that.

now i cant accomplished it without fucking things up more than it already is.

who can i blame?

no one, but me.

all my fucking fault.

maybe i'll cheer up in tekong.

maybe not.

hopefully i'll die in there.

at least it's better than dying on a fucking bike, right?

im really, really moodless right now.

but i kinda like it.

it kind of remove all the frustrations and all the war that's going on in my mind.

2011-06-08T02:49:00.000+08:00

lol.

enlisting in 2 days.

or should i say, i'll be in tekong this time 2 days later.

miss me.

;D

2011-06-06T12:53:00.002+08:00

i still think about having superpowers every now and then.

lol.

but i cant have them.

people like me shouldnt.

it'll be too dangerous.

2011-06-06T02:35:00.000+08:00

dreams.

which will be the path for me in the future?

2011-06-03T01:34:00.001+08:00

just watched limitless.

awesome show.

imagine if i wake up tmr morning with 100% of my brain power unlocked.

lol.

just imagine.

2011-06-02T22:09:00.000+08:00

so many things to do... so little time.

2011-05-31T01:23:00.005+08:00

i used to be so strong.

what the hell happened?

maybe it's the excessive human interaction.

pulled me out of my comfort zone.

lol.

------

and i still rmb on that very next day, i told a good friend "oh yes! ive done it! ...oh fuck! what the fuck have i done?!"

total epic-ness.

but how true.

and whattt?

people got caught getting down and dirty in the school toilet.

holy threesome.

people sure know how to have fun.

hahaha.

2011-05-30T01:03:00.003+08:00

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